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Ben Evans - The Interview
English rose Ben Evans was the youngest of three welsh wannabe children, born and bred in Kettering, but now residing in Barton Seagrave. His refusal to throw away the red rugby shirt, stop growing leeks, and his fetish for sleeping with sheep instead of his wife Teresa, means Ben will never fully accept he is of England heritage.
At a young age, Ben tried in vain to adopt a welsh image by constantly listening to Harry Secombe cassettes on his walkman and watching TV blockbuster Ivor the Engine. Evans openly admits to having an unnatural crush on Ruth Madoc... even at the age of 39 he still makes Teresa dress in a black wig, yellow blazer and play the Xylophone, whilst he "flicks one off".
At school, Ben discovered that the he was rubbish in all lessons. This has led him towards a career as a fully trained builders labourer, culminating last year with him passing his "I can make a cup of tea degree" at the 15th attempt at Kingsley Special School. After joining Nomads in the late 90's, Ben was a member of the successful reserve league and cup winning teams, progressing to become an integral member of the first team set up.
With a never say die attitude, and arguably one of the most consistent defenders at the club, Evans career is now in its twilight. The injury ravaged ALF stunt double spent a few moments to open his heart for us all to share...
Name: Ben "Rhodri" Evans
Birthplace: Kettering in England, nowhere near Wales, and to English parents
Family: English wife Teresa and two Welsh wannabe off spring
Nicknames: Taffy / Sheep Shagger / ALF .
Best moment in football: I remember it well. It was back in 2001 and I went a whole 90 minutes in a single game without getting injured!! It meant I could go to work all week without limping.
Worst moment in football: Every Saturday afternoon from 4.45pm onwards, as it means I will not be able to walk for the next 4 days.
Worst Injury: I snapped my Banjo string back in 1997. God that was messy!!
Biggest regret in football: Not actually being Welsh. If I had been half as Welsh as I'd pretended to be, I would definitely have made the Wales world cup squad for the qualifiers in 1997 & 2001.
Biggest influence: Angi Negri. We had so much in common - he too was English but pretended to be from another country, whilst he was also an injury prone full back with no pace…what a guy!
Life after Nomads?: My body is telling me to stop, but I think we all know I have ambitions to be the first wheelchair playing footballer. If I can achieve this, then who knows, maybe I could play til I'm 70! Outside of football I have invested in some technology, so I may study the "how to work a calculator diploma" - then the world really would be my lobster.
Captain crock has been involved in many a drunken Nomads night out, resulting in him doing "solo laps" in the nightclub formerly known as Central, disappearing for hours at a time only to reappear with no recollection of where his walks had taken him. Always up for a laugh, a pint and a game of cards, the only thing that has stopped Evans becoming a true Nomads legend is the denial of his English blood.
As the summer of 2010 approaches, Ben will adopt his usual "I don't care if England win the world cup" stance, however it will be clear for all to see Evans jumping around like a loon when England score, whilst pretending to take an interest in the Wales football teams summer tour of the Isle of Wight.
